We are not part of the cDc or affiliated. We are the followers that broke away from the church to follow the teachings of his holiness Grandmaster Ratte and his arch knights in our own way. We maintain the basic belief that silliness trump's seriousness, that happiness is basic right and politics are bullshit. We hold these truths to be self evident. Selling your exploits to Uncle Sam (you know, that uncle that hugs too long and is always watching) is a mortal sin. Hoarding knowledge is the cause of mental constipation. Censorship and greed are the roots of all evil.
Rules From The Book of Moo
- Article I: The Right to Caffeine
Every hacker shall have the unalienable right to an unlimited supply of caffeine. Coffee pots, energy drinks, and caffeinated mints must be accessible at all times to fuel the prolonged coding sessions that democracy depends on.
- Article II: The Right to Complain About Operating Systems
Hackers shall be free to complain about, ridicule, and argue over operating systems without retribution. Whether one prefers the simplicity of macOS, the customizability of Linux, or the ubiquity of Windows, all shall have the right to express their dissatisfaction loudly and often.
- Article III: The Right to Use Multiple Monitors
The workspace of a true hacker shall be incomplete without a minimum of three monitors, to better view multiple codebases, stack overflow pages, and the mandatory dystopian movie running in the background.
- Article IV: The Right to Weird Hardware
Ergonomic keyboards, trackballs, vertical mice, or keyboards that are more lights than keys; whatever helps decipher the matrix, shall not be judged.
- Article V: The Right to Work in Darkness
Hackers shall have the right to work in rooms so dimly lit that they might as well be mistaken for vampire dens. The only light shall emanate from the glow of their multiple monitors.
- Article VI: The Right to Use Jargon
Hackers shall have the liberty to use as much technical jargon as necessary to confuse civilians and gatekeep their mystical arts. Terms like "Blockchain", "Quantum Computing", and "Covariant Return Types" are to be wielded like arcane spells.
- Article VII: The Right to Create Obfuscated Code
While clean code is laudable, every hacker has the right to create a piece of code so twisted and convoluted that it serves as a job security measure.
- Article VIII: The Right to Hackathons
Hackers shall have the right to assemble and engage in hackathons, wherein they shall endeavor to build a fully functional new social media platform or an AI that understands pets within 24 sleep-deprived hours.
- Article IX: The Right to Rename Variables at Whim
A hacker’s variables shall be as cryptic or as hilariously named as they see fit. If a hacker wishes to rename all variables to various types of cheese, this shall be their prerogative.
- Article X: The Right to Blame the Hardware
In the rare event of a mistake, hackers shall retain the right to blame their tools without proof or justification. It’s never the code’s fault—it’s the CPU, the GPU, or maybe the motherboard. Definitely.
These rights do not just form a list but a sacred text, ensuring that the spirit of innovation, caffeine dependency, and playful eccentricity remains protected for all hackers, everywhere.
We are not malicious. We are not legion. We are the few. We are the many. We are here.
Moo, Bitch, Moo